My book, Common Sense Versus Wisdom: A Guide to Emotional Control & Rational Thinking is available in paperback at alondrapress.com (once on the site, click "Book Store" and search for my book). It is also down-loadable for $5.00 to Kindles (amazon.com) or Nooks (barnesandnoble.com), or, using free apps found online (Kindle app is best), to just about any smart phone (iPhone, Android), tablet (e.g. iPad, Galaxy) or computer (PC or Mac). Along with my e-book, you will get several free e-books.
Questions in the video are at the end of this blog.
Preface
This book is about avoiding extremes of thought and belief and of emotions and behavior. More specifically, it is about avoiding religious, political and ideological extremes. It is about being rational when it comes to finances, health, and safety. It is about managing anger, love, frustrations, decisions and non-conscious motivations, including prejudices. It is about preparing to resist social influence forces that can cause people to obey an immoral order and fail to help someone in the throes of a catastrophe. You will learn about growing wiser as you grow older, how to share your passionate interests with your children and grandchildren, and how to leave a lasting legacy. You will learn to cope with the memory and cognitive deficits that accompany aging. You will learn that family is not everything, IQ is not all there is to intelligence and DNA is not destiny. You will learn why people are so obsessed with being beautiful, handsome and youthful, that friendship may be the most underrated of close relationships, and that selecting a partner for life is not what it seems to be. Most importantly, you will learn that the keys to contentment are optimism and altruism, looking to the future without neglecting the present or ignoring the lessons of the past, and always keeping an open mind. Jesus, Bob Dylan, Woody Allen, George Washington, Charles Darwin and recent work by dozens of psychologists contribute to the provision of solutions to these complicated human problems. To avoid footnotes and references lists, I have included enough information for readers to successfully search online for the articles and books upon which I have relied.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
Table of Contents
Chapters
1: Turning Clouds into Sunshine
Accentuate the positive … eliminate the negative.
“Don’t sweat the small stuff.”
Looking for something good in something bad that has happened.
2: Relationships
I’m not getting any respect!
I know when you lie!
Woody Allen’s, Bob Dylan’s and Darwin’s theories of close relationships.
Selecting a mate: Is it all about beauty and handsomeness?
3. Thinking straight
Never say …
They did it. They said it. It happened to them. Or not …
The facts about George Washington.
I am certain that something or other is true or is going to happen.
How common is common sense?
Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.
Seeing yourself in other people, creatures, and objects.
If it isn’t one thing it’s another.
Time: The fading past, the pressing present and the anticipated future.
4. Ointments for Irritants
Ah, politics … how we love to hate it.
Filibuster: How to get nothing done.
Avoid political extremes.
Doggone media!
Computers made less frustrating.
5. In good conscience
Guilt is good.
Support our troops.
Are humans doomed to be first and foremost self-interested?
6. Managing money
What did Jesus do about money lending?
When it’s time to invest in the market, it’s time to get rational.
Negotiate the price of pricy items.
7. Human foibles
Slips of the tongue and other non-conscious blunders.
I knew it all along!
Understanding anger and aggression.
Bystander apathy.
Whether to obey or to defy … which and why?
Why not curse?
8. Get wiser as you grow older
Growing older.
Remembering and forgetting.
Multitasking.
Leaving a legacy.
Making decisions.
9. Making the future bright for the children in you life
What’s smart and how can you help your children be smart?
In the future most children must graduate from high school and earn post-secondary degrees.
10. Saving your own life
Drive safely? Of course I do.
Medicine’s magic numbers, advice based on logic but no evidence, and searching for life-saving information while avoiding dogmatism.
Exercise and health.
Developing a long-term exercise program.
1: Turning Clouds into Sunshine
Accentuate the positive … eliminate the negative.
“Don’t sweat the small stuff.”
Looking for something good in something bad that has happened.
2: Relationships
I’m not getting any respect!
I know when you lie!
Woody Allen’s, Bob Dylan’s and Darwin’s theories of close relationships.
Selecting a mate: Is it all about beauty and handsomeness?
3. Thinking straight
Never say …
They did it. They said it. It happened to them. Or not …
The facts about George Washington.
I am certain that something or other is true or is going to happen.
How common is common sense?
Too much of a good thing is a bad thing.
Seeing yourself in other people, creatures, and objects.
If it isn’t one thing it’s another.
Time: The fading past, the pressing present and the anticipated future.
4. Ointments for Irritants
Ah, politics … how we love to hate it.
Filibuster: How to get nothing done.
Avoid political extremes.
Doggone media!
Computers made less frustrating.
5. In good conscience
Guilt is good.
Support our troops.
Are humans doomed to be first and foremost self-interested?
6. Managing money
What did Jesus do about money lending?
When it’s time to invest in the market, it’s time to get rational.
Negotiate the price of pricy items.
7. Human foibles
Slips of the tongue and other non-conscious blunders.
I knew it all along!
Understanding anger and aggression.
Bystander apathy.
Whether to obey or to defy … which and why?
Why not curse?
8. Get wiser as you grow older
Growing older.
Remembering and forgetting.
Multitasking.
Leaving a legacy.
Making decisions.
9. Making the future bright for the children in you life
What’s smart and how can you help your children be smart?
In the future most children must graduate from high school and earn post-secondary degrees.
10. Saving your own life
Drive safely? Of course I do.
Medicine’s magic numbers, advice based on logic but no evidence, and searching for life-saving information while avoiding dogmatism.
Exercise and health.
Developing a long-term exercise program.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Thinking more rationally and expressing emotions with restraint.
Below are some questions addressed in the book. You can post your answers and I'll comment on them:
Which is best, eyes on the past, eyes on the present, or eyes on the future?
Are “Never!” or “Always!” ever justified? Don’t be too quick to answer.
Why do so many people earn diplomas from the school of hard knocks?
What must we do to compete with China and India, the economic giants of the future? The answer may sound impossible, but it isn’t.
“What would Jesus do?” has become a standard question. But what did Jesus actually do that has economic implications for these troubled times?
Why does investing in the market and dealing with computers have to be so complicated? See why this question begs the question.
How common is common sense?
Dirty-rotten-rabble-fratch! Say what?
Multi-tasking is a good thing, right? You’ll find some surprises here.
Guilt is good! Or is it? Join the debate.
Regarding anger, which strategy is best for your wellbeing: suppress it or let it all out in the form of verbal or physical aggression?
What’s “smart” and how can you help your children be smart? If you are thinking “it’s IQ and kids are born with it or not” think again.
How come once a winning streak or a losing streak begins, it grows its own legs and can’t be stopped until it runs it course?
Is it reasonable to seek certainty regarding important issues in our lives?
Are young folks’ memories recalled in HD video with digital sound, while older folks recollections are like scratched film with crackling sound and many frames missing? If so, what can older people do?
What can Bob Dylan and Woody Allen and Darwin teach us about close relationships?
Decisions, decisions … are there ways to get better at making them?
I knew it all along! Well maybe not.
How can you leave a lasting legacy? You may be pleasantly surprised.
&%*$!# Does cursing do you or people within earshot any good? Yes and no.
Would you obey an order that is obviously illegal, immoral or both?
Who among 20th century notables will be remembered in 1000 years? You are unlikely to guess this one.
Would you believe that almost every person could find the time and facilities to regularly perform health-promoting exercises?
When deciding how to allocate our tax dollars to the military, what comes first, technologically state-of-the-art planes, missiles, and ships or the safety and long-term health of our troops?
What do medicine’s magic numbers have to do with your health?
Why don’t people help when someone is obviously in dire need? The popular answer is wrong.
Bilateral mouths, independently variable at both ends? What the …?
Questions from video.
1. Hi, I’m Bem Allen and I’ve got some questions for you.
2. If someone, including yourself, tells you not to think about something, can you do it? Don’t think of a white bear! How did you do?
3. Why would anyone try to marry the Eiffel Tower, the Berlin Wall, a hi-fi system or other inanimate things? Strange, huh? Why do they do that?
4. What do women literally look for in a man? It’s not what men think.
5. What is cursing good for? [Stick finger into the chair] Ouch! Dirty rotten rabble fratch! I caught my finger in the chair. …Next question.
6. When you are angry, is it best to blow off steam by, for example, insulting whoever offended you or pounding the walls?
7. Are the Bible and current as well as historic public figures often misquoted?
8. Can you plagiarize someone else’s ideas and be so unaware of the theft that you think the ideas are yours?
9. Do most of us harbor prejudices about which we are not conscious?
10. Are people first and foremost self-interested?
11. Can you find something good in the bad things that have happen to you?
12. What must you do to get respect from others?
13. Can you come up with ways to make yourself seem ten, fifteen, even 20 years younger? Should you?
14. Don’t sweat the small stuff. But what is the small stuff?
15. If you think that someone is lying to you, which behavior of the suspect should you focus on to find out the truth?:
Whether the suspect is maintaining eye contact with you?
Unusual behavior such as hair twirling? or Inability to sit still?
16. Is there any research evidence that people get wiser as they get older?
17. Do people who multi-task a lot, even though they don’t have to, do it because they are good at it?
20. Which of the following modes of transportation is far safer than the others: buses, airplanes, or trains?
21. What can automobile drivers learn from motorcyclists about driving more safely?
22. Who do you think is the smartest, someone who is certain about everything, or someone who is not entirely certain about much of anything?
23. Aw, to be beautiful or handsome. Why do we care so much? Darwin claims to have the answer and it’s not what you think.
24. Old people are cranky! Aw, come on, can’t you take a joke. How does such bigotry come home to haunt those who show it?
25. You can speed-search my new book for answers to these and other intriguing questions. To get it inexpensively and quickly, go to the following web site.
allen.socialpsychology.org
When you arrive at the site, find the blog link on the lower right and click it. Easy instructions will get you several free books along with mine. Thank you.
Which is best, eyes on the past, eyes on the present, or eyes on the future?
Are “Never!” or “Always!” ever justified? Don’t be too quick to answer.
Why do so many people earn diplomas from the school of hard knocks?
What must we do to compete with China and India, the economic giants of the future? The answer may sound impossible, but it isn’t.
“What would Jesus do?” has become a standard question. But what did Jesus actually do that has economic implications for these troubled times?
Why does investing in the market and dealing with computers have to be so complicated? See why this question begs the question.
How common is common sense?
Dirty-rotten-rabble-fratch! Say what?
Multi-tasking is a good thing, right? You’ll find some surprises here.
Guilt is good! Or is it? Join the debate.
Regarding anger, which strategy is best for your wellbeing: suppress it or let it all out in the form of verbal or physical aggression?
What’s “smart” and how can you help your children be smart? If you are thinking “it’s IQ and kids are born with it or not” think again.
How come once a winning streak or a losing streak begins, it grows its own legs and can’t be stopped until it runs it course?
Is it reasonable to seek certainty regarding important issues in our lives?
Are young folks’ memories recalled in HD video with digital sound, while older folks recollections are like scratched film with crackling sound and many frames missing? If so, what can older people do?
What can Bob Dylan and Woody Allen and Darwin teach us about close relationships?
Decisions, decisions … are there ways to get better at making them?
I knew it all along! Well maybe not.
How can you leave a lasting legacy? You may be pleasantly surprised.
&%*$!# Does cursing do you or people within earshot any good? Yes and no.
Would you obey an order that is obviously illegal, immoral or both?
Who among 20th century notables will be remembered in 1000 years? You are unlikely to guess this one.
Would you believe that almost every person could find the time and facilities to regularly perform health-promoting exercises?
When deciding how to allocate our tax dollars to the military, what comes first, technologically state-of-the-art planes, missiles, and ships or the safety and long-term health of our troops?
What do medicine’s magic numbers have to do with your health?
Why don’t people help when someone is obviously in dire need? The popular answer is wrong.
Bilateral mouths, independently variable at both ends? What the …?
Questions from video.
1. Hi, I’m Bem Allen and I’ve got some questions for you.
2. If someone, including yourself, tells you not to think about something, can you do it? Don’t think of a white bear! How did you do?
3. Why would anyone try to marry the Eiffel Tower, the Berlin Wall, a hi-fi system or other inanimate things? Strange, huh? Why do they do that?
4. What do women literally look for in a man? It’s not what men think.
5. What is cursing good for? [Stick finger into the chair] Ouch! Dirty rotten rabble fratch! I caught my finger in the chair. …Next question.
6. When you are angry, is it best to blow off steam by, for example, insulting whoever offended you or pounding the walls?
7. Are the Bible and current as well as historic public figures often misquoted?
8. Can you plagiarize someone else’s ideas and be so unaware of the theft that you think the ideas are yours?
9. Do most of us harbor prejudices about which we are not conscious?
10. Are people first and foremost self-interested?
11. Can you find something good in the bad things that have happen to you?
12. What must you do to get respect from others?
13. Can you come up with ways to make yourself seem ten, fifteen, even 20 years younger? Should you?
14. Don’t sweat the small stuff. But what is the small stuff?
15. If you think that someone is lying to you, which behavior of the suspect should you focus on to find out the truth?:
Whether the suspect is maintaining eye contact with you?
Unusual behavior such as hair twirling? or Inability to sit still?
16. Is there any research evidence that people get wiser as they get older?
17. Do people who multi-task a lot, even though they don’t have to, do it because they are good at it?
20. Which of the following modes of transportation is far safer than the others: buses, airplanes, or trains?
21. What can automobile drivers learn from motorcyclists about driving more safely?
22. Who do you think is the smartest, someone who is certain about everything, or someone who is not entirely certain about much of anything?
23. Aw, to be beautiful or handsome. Why do we care so much? Darwin claims to have the answer and it’s not what you think.
24. Old people are cranky! Aw, come on, can’t you take a joke. How does such bigotry come home to haunt those who show it?
25. You can speed-search my new book for answers to these and other intriguing questions. To get it inexpensively and quickly, go to the following web site.
allen.socialpsychology.org
When you arrive at the site, find the blog link on the lower right and click it. Easy instructions will get you several free books along with mine. Thank you.
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